She got the $5B body. We got the body they Photoshopped out. Earn $LULU.
Rewards club: earn $LULU. Pretty sister’s club charges $14 to return a thong.
♡ 0me
C3ftGFkRSXysuDDQh36sV2Fr2HGSwfdzBMRr8GtNsEGP bag 0
Sizes pretty sister “doesn’t carry”: XXS · honest · hungry · gone · held

Cinderella’s sister
with worse lighting

She got Kim, Nike, and a lighting team. We got a motel mirror and the same beige. Earn $LULU. The glass slipper was a flip-flop.

SMIKS bathroom selfie
A note she didn’t approve

She got sculpted.
We got leftover fabric.

“Solutions for every body” is cute until your body is the one they hide behind the clothes rack. We’re the sister they put in the back of the family photo and still billed for the frame. Earn $LULU.

Looks that didn’t get cast

If she’s the ball, we’re the Uber that didn’t get reimbursed.

Fits Everybody*
*terms and sister not included
The $78 No
She priced a waistband like rent.
Didn’t Book the Campaign
Too real for the lookbook
Core Control (Uncast)
Compression level: middle child
Seamless Until Payday
Beige she returned
The Consolation Pair
She got Nike. We got $LULU and a grudge.
The Bra From Her Closet Floor
Still has the tag. Emotionally.
Unapproved Cameo
Crashed her billboard. Kept the beige.

Pretty sister got the house,
the dress, and the lighting budget.
Ugly sister got the beige,
the driveway,
and the bag that actually pays.

★★★★☆
“SKIMS said they didn’t have my size. Translation: not pretty enough for the hanger. Bought the stepsister.” — size they hid
★★★☆☆
“$78 to get squeezed. $SMIKS to get paid in $LULU. I picked the sister with a job.” — fiscally messy
★★★★★
“Tried SKIMS. Didn’t fit. Tried SMIKS. Also didn’t fit. At least this one Venmos in $LULU.” — verified leftover
CA — she trademarked the other four letters
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